The Beekeeper
by Mrs Dizzy
Summary: Sometimes, life gives you a second chance. An older and wiser Sherlock is reunited with Molly. COMPLETE.
1. Bees

_Something I wrote a long time ago and originally posted on tumblr. It's a bit of an odd one, even for me. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy._

_**Disclaimer**: I don't own Sherlock or any characters. Just borrowing for a while. All mistakes are mine_

_WARNING: Contains character deaths_

* * *

**Bees**

**::**

You tell yourself that the kindest thing you can do for her is to push her away. This is why you say these hurtful things, every time. You can't let her see that she matters because then she has all the power.

She has too much already.

But then you do tell her, because you can't bear the idea that she thinks she's worthless to you.

When it's all over and you return, you can see she's happy for you. She's good at that, being happy for others. But there's something else. Or rather _someone_ else. And she's happy for herself too.

You try, but it takes all your strength to fake it. It's hard to be happy when the heart you kept denying is breaking.

You let her go when you know she's in safe hands. He's no one special and perfect for her. At least _she_ thinks so. It takes you a long time to concede, but she's radiating with so much joy that you can't take it away from her.

When they move away, it's a relief because it's hard to smile when you don't feel like smiling.

You keep track, of course, because this is who you are. You've tried to delete her but find you don't want to. You try not to let on.

You think John can tell what you're pretending not to do. He keeps his opinions to himself. Thank god for small mercies.

**::**

Life moves on.

And you're Sherlock Holmes, so you're always looking for the next distraction. There are many and they take up enough of your time to make everything else tolerable. You only need to check once a month now. So the news reaches you a little too late.

It's been twenty years and you know how time takes its toll.

Her hair is shorter, lighter, grey amongst the honey brown. There are wrinkles around her mouth and eyes, speaking of a life lived. But her eyes are still the same.

They light up and it brings you back years. Her mouth forms a small "o" and you're reminded of the first day you met her.

"Sherlock," she greets and you're reminded too of how it felt every time she said your name.

"Molly," you respond, nearly tripping over the short syllables. It's been a while since you said that name out loud.

Naturally, you notice the ring she's still wearing and the sadness in the way she holds herself. You wonder if showing up like this was a good idea. You wonder what the idea was to begin with.

"Would you like to come in for…coffee?" she asks.

You find that you can't regret the mad impulse to drive all the way down to Sussex Downs.

"Yes. Please."

Two cats greet you as you follow her down the hall into a sitting room. You re-read everything about her life from this room, adding the details here to the ones you already know.

Your eyes fall on the urn, on a table by the window.

"Daniel loved that spot," she says and gives you a sad smile.

You take in the view of the sea, calm today. You envy him for so many things.

"I'll be right back with the coffee," she says and her smile turns impish. "Black, two sugars. Right?"

You're rooted to his spot by the window, overcome by the urge to reach out and touch her.

"Yes," you manage to whisper and you find yourself afraid.

**::**

You're surrounded by the memories she'd made without you. And you allow yourself to wonder what it would've been like if you'd been part of them. So many questions that will never be answered. And you hate unanswered questions.

She returns with the coffee and biscuits and invites you to sit down. You see her stiffen slightly when you choose the one chair you know you shouldn't have. But you're still you and you just can't help yourself.

She's still her and so ignores this, brushes it off as not important. Still willing to cast you as the hero. You take this because you're greedy. When it comes to her, you've always taken more than you could return.

You take the offered coffee and the biscuit. You can't even choke out a polite "Thank you" and allow the silence to settle awkwardly.

But she will have nothing of that.

"How are you, Sherlock?" she asks, after taking a sip from her beverage.

You feel every inch the bastard that you are, because the question should've been directed at her.

"Well enough," you respond and she gives back a polite smile.

"Seems you've had some exciting cases over the years. John's been really good at keeping his blog."

She's been keeping track of you too. You know you should say something but your mind is panicking.

"How are John and Mary, by the way? John hasn't been on the blog much lately."

"Mary has cancer," you reply and give her all the details of the diagnosis. You've always been best when reciting the facts.

"That's…very sad," and you can feel the empathy pour out of her.

"How long does she…do they have?"

"The doctors say that it could be a month or a week. These things are rather imprecise."

And you feel ashamed at the statement because of the reproachful look she gives you. Bit not good. Haven't yet mastered that particular lesson.

"At least they have some time."

**::**

You know all the words she leaves unsaid. Her husband's death had been sudden and wholly unexpected.

Wednesday morning, he's giving his wife a kiss goodbye, promising to be home early for dinner. Two o'clock in the afternoon, she gets the call that her husband had died from a cerebral aneurysm. The death was quick and at least he hadn't suffered.

She's left with all the thoughts never expressed.

"I'm sorry for your loss," you finally say and you're angry at yourself.

Angry because after all these years, you still can't get it right when it comes to her.

"Thank you, that's very kind." She says it like someone who's heard it too often in the past few weeks.

But then she gives you that look. The one that both damns and forgives you.

And you find yourself getting up from the chair, his chair. Because suddenly it feels like an invasion. A selfish invasion of her grief. Of the life she has.

Selfish because now that there was space again in her life, you wanted to know if there was enough for you. But it's not about you, isn't it?

You almost upset your coffee cup in your haste to leave.

She doesn't deserve this. She doesn't deserve someone like you.

"Sit down, Sherlock," she softly commands. _Commands_.

She's not used that tone with you often but every time she had, you obeyed.

You do so now, but you're conflicted. And you're hovering above his chair. And you're giving her a look, asking for permission. Asking for absolution.

"Just sit down, Sherlock," she says wearily and subtly nods towards the chair.

So you do. And you wait for her. It's her move.

"They have a daughter, don't they?"

You've waited for her to speak so long that you nearly miss it when she does.

"Sorry?"

"John and Mary…they have a daughter?"

"Yes. Elizabeth. She's twenty-one now. At university."

"Must be hard for them."

"How hard was it for you?" is the question you can't bring yourself to ask. Because you know the answer. Because you can't bear the answer.

"Maybe I can come up to London…no, that's silly. I don't want to intrude."

She shakes her head, "It's been too long."

"You could stay at the flat," you hear yourself say.

You're sure the look of surprise on Molly's face reflects the one on yours.

"I…uhm…I ah…em," Molly flounders and then you both just look at each other. And laugh.

You're certain that she hasn't laughed this heartily in a while. You're not sure why you're laughing. It's both a pain and a relief,

You feel so exuberant and alive and eager to have more time with her.

"We could drive there in the car," you say.

"I'm here with a car," you unnecessarily add.

And then you both remember who you are and what has been and what is now.

You're still Sherlock and Molly but you're also different.

Reality won't let you forget the choices you've made.

**::**

She does eventually come to London, when news of Mary's passing reaches her.

It's you who calls her. It's you she holds when you're at the church supporting John.

And it's she who makes the tea and quietly takes care of John and Liz later when they're alone.

It's her small presence, her gentle prodding of "Tell me about Mary…" that keeps the Watsons laughing instead of crying.

And you just sit there and watch them, watch her and remember dreams you've forgotten.

She's no longer wearing her wedding ring. You wonder if you still have the power to manipulate her. But you get the feeling that she sees right through. Maybe she's always seen right through and still let you get away with too much.

Her life is down there she tells you, has been for a long while. And you're reminded again how selfish you are.

**::**

In the end it's John who's the catalyst. Always John.

He tells you how empty London feels now, with Mary gone. Liz is off at university, living her own life.

You can't help but agree with the feeling of emptiness. London has changed over the years. Or maybe it's you who's changed.

The two of you no longer fit as perfectly as you used to.

It's you who suggests leaving town for a bit.

John makes a weak attempt at a joke, "After all these years, people will talk again…"

It was only supposed to be a summer rental. But you're signing the deed of sale within the week.

You tell yourself that it's the beehives that made you do it. John allows you to spread the lie.

He does ask if you're sure about this. He's known you too long and your capacity for enduring boredom.

But the bees do keep you occupied for most of the time. And if it all gets a bit too quiet, it's not like you've moved to the ends of the earth.

**::**

Besides, the greatest mystery of all lives just ten minutes away.

And you're determined to see this one through, no matter how long it takes.


	2. The Beekeeper

**The Beekeeper**

**::**

People here call you eccentric.

You don't mind, you've never minded. Besides, it's one of the kinder adjectives people apply to you.

Molly simply shrugs and tells people "That's Sherlock for you."

The first time you ask for access to her labs, she laughs. It's a delighted laugh, full of good humour. And you can't help but crack a smile, too.

It's like starting over and you're determined to get it right this time.

Working in her lab feels like deja vu. It feels a lot like coming home.

You hope the delay in delivery of your new home laboratory takes a little longer. Or you could just get over yourself and ask her to dinner.

She ends up asking you.

"I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner."

You're careful of not misinterpreting the invitation. You're still not sure what the interpretation should be as you make your way to her home.

**::**

She's cooked something simple and delicious. You eat every last bite she serves.

You manage to keep the conversation light and pleasant. You manage to keep a conversation. Even when you ask if she's ever regretted moving away from London.

"In the beginning, I used to hate it here. Thought it was too quiet…and I worked with dead people!"

But you know she would've moved anywhere because she had loved and been loved.

You like to think that if she'd stayed with you, she'd started hating you within a year. You like to tell yourself that it would've never worked out. But you're here now.

So you're really just making excuses for taking too long.

She would not have asked you to change. And you would have tried your hardest to be better for her.

You trusted her. You trust her. You just didn't trust yourself.

But you're here now and you're going to make it count. You've wasted enough time already.

"Would you like some honey?" you ask.

She blushes crimson and it's still one of the loveliest sights you've ever seen.

**::**

You actually tie a bow around the first pot of honey you deliver to her. She accepts it with such ceremony that you both end up giggling.

You can't giggle. It's just honey.

But you know it isn't.

**::**

John comes to visit so often, he's practically living here. It does set tongues wagging. After all these years and all these changes, people still talk rubbish.

You're sometimes tempted to kiss John in public just to give them something real to gossip about. You confess this one evening, the three of you comfortable in Molly's sitting room.

"I'm flattered, but you're not my type," is John's prim response.

It sets you all off into gales of laughter.

There's a lot of that nowadays, laughter.

There's also a loads of smiles between you and her. She'd always given them freely to you. But now you know when and how to return them. Now you're no longer afraid.

She still misses him, you know that. Twenty years of memories are hard to delete.

Selfishly you want her to, but they are a part of her. Why would you want to destroy something that is a part of her?

**::**

She kisses you on your birthday. You want to think it's you who initiated it. But you know that in this you've always been the coward.

It is your very first real kiss.

"I always wondered what it would be like," she whispers, smiling.

You trace your thumb over her lips. You've been so cruel to her.

"Me too," and you dip to taste more.

Why had you starved yourself for so many years?

**::**

"For a genius, I've always thought you bloody stupid," John says.

Of course he would be able to tell when it comes to this.

"You should've told me," you grouse.

"I've tried, mate, but even you need time to figure some things out."

You find pleasure in the simplest things.

Holding her hand while walking along the beach. Her still sleepy smiles over morning coffee. Her quiet but solid presence in your life.

**::**

You still take cases. Though you prefer not leaving your new corner of the world.

She is as willing an assistant as John is. Your pathologist and your blogger.

**::**

John is the first to go.

And the pain is stronger than when Mycroft passed six years ago.

"You loved him and he loved you," she whispers, her fingers running through your hair.

You take her hand and kiss it, "I love you."

**::**

It was winter when you first met her. A particularly cold one, but no colder than you used to be.

Still she'd tried to reach out and touch you.

**::**

It was spring when you asked of her the impossible. To save your friends, to save you.

Violent and changing those times, the winter's ice was thawing.

**::**

In summer she went away.

In summer you learned your own measure.

In summer she bloomed.

In summer you learned to grow.

**::**

And in the autumn, you've been ready.

Ready to see if the years had taught you well.

Ready to offer your heart.

To her. Always her.


	3. Honey (Epilogue)

She finds you amongst your bees in late November.

**::**

It's been twenty more years since you've returned to her.

And now you've left again.

But you also left the memory of your love to keep her through the winter nights.

**::**

She keeps the bees. Their honey is dark and wild with layers of flavour.

People are oddly surprised by its sweetness.

_**- The End -**_


End file.
